Hey all I am back to this fitness blog.

OK So I have not posted on here in a long time. I had to lick my wounds for a bit after being told I am no longer a mamavation mom. I cried and was devestated. Ultimately I had to sit there and wonder why. What did I do? Why was I not losing the weight? What was wrong with me? Well between last Feb-March 2011 and July 2011 I gained a lot of my weight back and was all the way up to 220lbs. I had a pity party all the way to Camp Do More aka Camp turbo kick. When I went to camp which is the most awesome experience ever and I highly recommend it, I met some great people and we worked out three times a day and then we had some camp team competitions which was cool. But the best part of camp was not the workouts, fashion show, shopping, or team competition. No the best part of camp was the lectures from Chalene Johnson (creator or turbo kick, Piyo, and Hustle as well as the trainer in such DVDs as Turbo Jam, Turbo Fire, and Chalean Extreme and New York Times Best Selling Author of Push) At the time I was listening to the lectures and taking notes but I was seriously in denial about my attitude. The point that was made was something along the lines of how you talk about yourself will come out. Like with me for example, I worked out at the gym 6 days a week sometimes 2-3 workouts and yea the weight was not coming off at all no matter what I did. I used to look at myself in the mirror and say to myself I am going to be fat forever no matter what I do it wont come off and I keep gaining. And guess what? The weight did not come off! It just kept packing on no matter what I ate or drank and no matter how hard I worked out at the gym. When I finally realized what I was saying to myself was detrimental to what I was trying to accomplish for myself. The whole camp ordeal was so much fun but I was so uncomfortable within my own skin to enjoy it completely because of my negative attitude and self talk that had been hindering me from accomplishing my goals of losing all 70lbs of baby weight from my twins before my 35th birthday. But now after camp, I started looking at myself and saying how beautiful I was and telling myself that no matter what, the fat is going down! Two months after camp, I had lost 25lbs! Yea 25lbs! I was not going to be a prisoner in my fat suit any longer so I made a accountability statement in the 2012 Camp Do More Facebook group saying that by July 2012 when I come to Camp Do More in Anaheim California, I will be 160lbs meaning a 60lb weight loss. I had to do it so I have 700 people behind me and making sure I am going to get where I need to be. Because when you set out to do something you have to make a public declaration and what was more public than Facebook? Not only did I say this on the Camp Do More Facebook page, I also tweeted it and put it out there onto my personal Facebook page. At the time I was so scared to make the declaration that I almost did not do it but I thought about it and said you know what its time to take the plunge and do it! I was tired of being fat and unhappy. It was time to be accountable and stop blaming it all on my water retention and whatever else I was blaming at the moment. So Fast forward to now April 11 2012, guess how much weight I have lost? !0? 20? 30lbs? Nope! Today I am 50lbs lighter and I have my success because I changed my mindset and some of my diet. I read a book, I took a 30 day challenge, and I got real with myself. And I have lost 50lbs. I have changed my attitude and that is the biggest thing anyone can ever do when they are stuck. I now look at myself with 10lbs left of my goal to lose before camp and say hey fat you are going down! It's time for the fat to die! And When I go to Camp Do More at 160lbs I will have another goal to set for myself. Maybe this post will help one person realize that until you are ready in your own head, you will not lose the weight, no matter how well you eat and how hard you workout or what supplements you take, you will be a prisoner in your own body until you realize you are beautiful and give yourself the credit you deserve. It is ok to be selfish if you are fighting for your life.